I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
