i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
