Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
