I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got inside last night via doggy door
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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