He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
