Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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