Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
