hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
