You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
