Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize