You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
