remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
