She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
