He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
