what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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