They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
