Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
