Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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