What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Pants are for mortals
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
