turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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