don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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