I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
