It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
