You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
