i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
