my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
