I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
