i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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