Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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