i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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