did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
