Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The Olympian is in my bed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
