fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
