party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
