I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
