i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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