wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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