I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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