nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
