In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
