I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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