this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
