just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
