i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Barsexuality is the new black.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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