Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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