I accidentally burped into my bong.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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