so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
