Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
