Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
two words...techno handjob
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
