just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
