she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
