Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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