Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
