Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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