honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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