I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
