He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We got so high we made milksteak
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
